Even though I have been attending the same church for a few months now I still feel in many ways that I am without a church home. I still feel the loss of knowing and being known by those around me. I feel the strangeness of not knowing what to expect from week to week and where I fit into that rhythm. I find that it is still challenging to remember people's names, let alone have a meaty theological conversation or pray for one another. I miss being an established and involved church member.
It is challenging to get plugged in at a new church, and I find myself asking if I really want to go through that work. It is work -I have to keep putting myself out there, and there is the natural in between stage before there is interaction of depth. And it is work to get through that stage, and I am not sure I am going to stay long term. And there are no teenagers in this church. That is a fairly big obstacle.
Since I am not plugged in, it would be easy to leave and just go somewhere else, but that is a wearying thought. How on earth do people switch churches? How do people get through this with their sense of Christian community in tact? Or do they? I am already tempted to throw in the towel and I have fairly good social skills, and a healthy measure of boldness. I have to gear up every week to try to break into what is going on in the church. People are very friendly, and easy to talk to, for which I am very thankful. But what I am really craving in a church is to serve and to grow with others. And that takes time and effort. Is it worth it here? Would it be worth it somewhere else?
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