Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Wrong Questions

For months now many areas of my life have been in flux - my boss took a job in New York; my roommate of three years got married; I left my church of thirteen years to join not only another church, but a totally new denomination; two of my dear friends and co-workers left to have a family and move to another state. And I complained. I am complaining.

Basically every day I am upset that these are the changes I have and not the changes I want. Why isn't my career taking off? or moving at all in any direction of my choosing? or at all? Why am I still single? How does eHarmony work anyway? Why am I without active or real connection to youth ministry? Does God still have a plan for my life that involves any of these things? Did I hear that wrong? Am I still hearing God?

Am I still hearing God? That is probably the first real question I have asked in months. It is a life-giving question that leads to another question for me- What is God doing right now, and how am I supposed to respond or be involved? Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 

I have all this free time. I am in the midst of many mid-level changes. No, they are not the changes that I desire, but this is where I am. Since there is no such thing as wasted time with The Lord, then what do I do with the circumstances that are right in front of me? God, what are You doing and what should I do? I have not been listening to You, not for months. I have been too occupied with wondering why I am not where I think I ought to be and making sure You know that I am not happy. How foolish I have been- how wrong to stop listening, to stop seeking You for who You are already are and not who I want You to be. You will not be changed, manipulated, or cowed. You Are who You Are. I love that about You and I love You for it. 

I have been wrong, and I have put all my energies into the wrong places for the past few months, maybe even years. I have been asking all the wrong questions. 


  1. Waiting with you in prayer tonight, friend.

  2. I think you are in a wonderful spot! My life started over again when I lost my full time job of 22 years. All of a sudden everything was on the line, including my marriage. Everything had to be rebuilt and since that time (in 2001), I've only had official full-time employment for about 3 years. Putting together a mix of part time, freelance, and joining Bonnie's business (and then, to be fair, collecting retirement at age 55), my time flexibility has made it possible to finally start paying attention to God. So, has this been a golden age of obeying God and utilizing all my gifts for Him? Well... no, not exactly, but it's been a lot better that my increasing dissatisfaction with the life I had! I am probably pretty annoying because when especially men my age lose their jobs and their identities are on the line, I get excited to see what God will do with them now that he has their attention! They have to let go their definitions of themselves and find out what God has in store.
    You are lucky! You didn't have to wait until you were in your 50's. (Not that 50's is too late or anything).
    All that said, I will pray for you! And that's probably a lot more useful than my advice.